Your worst day in the field

[thornie]

I went out on a final four cast to watch some dogs I wanted to see run. The area we went to was a horse farm with an electric fence on it. The guide said this fence was hot, so we crawled under it and they released their dogs. The dogs jumped a rabbit and crossed the field into another field. We went to the dogs, but had to cross the fence. One fellow steps over the fence and holds the top strand of barb up and I step under the barb, buuuuut the electric hit me on the side of the leg, so I bellar like a baby bull. When I came back down from the first shock, I lit on the fence for the second time with my right testicle and this time I bellard like a big bull. You know the saying when EF Hutton speaks everyone listens, well the dogs quit running their track and came back to see what was going on. and them and my friends where laying on the ground laughing. This is no bull ask my friend Scott Fluhart.

[PREACHERS KENNEL]

now that has to be a winner right there !

[mac40391]

well i have a little story to tell and its more funny than anything....
me and a couple buddies of mine were running dogs one day and
a guy named jay hershberger had came down to join me and scott
spicer.....we had went to one of our running grounds and was haveing
trouble getting a rabbit up...as we were walking jay noticed a big ole owl
up in a tree and said to us that that might be why all the rabbits were
scarice. he said you ought to kill that owl, scotty and i just laughed at him and ask what was we to kill it with and jay said watch this and grabbed
a limb off a dead tree and climed up on a fence post and clubbed that owl
like it was nothing.well we couldn't believe what we had just witnessed and jay said that owls would't fly during the daylight so that beat anything
we had ever seen before...so a few weeks later me and ole spice were out running dogs again this time at night and just to let everyone know i wasn't quiet the outstanding personn i am today.i had been smoking off mugsy's corncob pipe and drinking a little jim to stay warm and it was way up in the early morning when we were leaveing this farm. there was a heavy fog on down by the river and as we walked out of this corn field i saw the something as scotty shined the flashlight across the field and i ask what that was and scotty said what.. i said shine that light back up there for a minute so he did and when he did there was the biggest owl
i had ever seen in my life setting on this fence post by the gate...i said to scotty wait a minute hold that light right there and i'll sneak up behind that owl and kill it...scotty said there was noway so we snuck up as close to the owlas possible and scotty ask what i was gonna kill it with and i told him this three buckle dog leash i had.. so i told him to be real still and hold that light right in his eyes as i went around to the other side of the fence i was sneeking like the pink panther brother and when i got up close
to the owl i reach back as far as i could and let that owl have it with everything i had and when i did the dogs went to baying scotty dropped to the ground laughing so hard he was crying and my owl busted into a hundred pieces as it was ceramic ....taht is a story that will be told to my grand children with exept i'll have to leave out my excuses ain't that a bummer........??????
and apparrently scotty already knew it the whole time

[Bev]

I cant beleive I am going to tell you this but here goes......

After about 5 minutes of cussing and trying to get my pants free I began the walk of shame up that final 100 feet of yard. To make matters worse my wife at the time saw me coming and met me at the door. She wanted to know why I was walking like a bow legged cowboy that had chaffed thighs All I could say was shut up as I headed for the shower I havent goose hunted since

ROTFLMAO! My son and I had a bet about how quickly the poop stories would come out (no pun intended) on this thread, lol. Just kinda goes hand-in-hand with hunting, I think. Don't feel bad stanimals, the most dignified of people have loaded their britches at one time or another. If they say they haven't...they're lying, lol! (lmao@the guy that crapped in his hood, though) ROTF.

Okay, so here's one of my MANY crap stories. Me, Ralph, and Mark Eckstein were bumping along the road to the hunting grounds (deer hunting again). We were gonna let Mark out down by Howie's farm and he was gonna hunt the gasline, then Ralph was gonna let me out and I was gonna hunt the barn finger, then he was gonna go get in his stand a bit farther down. Anyway, we're bumping along, black outside, heater running and of course I have 50lbs of clothing on (including bibs), nobody's saying anything and I'm starting to think the urge is gonna hit me. I go "Oh mannnn, I think I gotta go..." I'm trying to talk myself out of this....and you KNOW that never works. Ralph's used to this so he says "we'll get Mark dropped off first then we'll find you a spot, blah blah - (I forget). Mark is saying nothing.

We get almost to where Mark's spot is and he goes "darn you, Bev! I was okay until you said something. Now I gotta ****! I giggled at that. Well, I'm ALWAYS prepared, and I have 2 rolls of "field paper" stuffed into the door pocket, so I tell him to take one. He says I'm gonna sneak up this fence row about 100 yds, then go get in my stand. All is well for Mark. We get turned around to head back toward my spot, and I can't wait anymore. It's now or never. Ralph stops the truck at the field that adjoins Mark's field, and I get out. It's blacker'n anything and I can't see where I'm going. Ralph says "You want me to point the headlights for you, and I go "NOOOOOO", I don't want everyone in Putnam County to see me doing "that", so I get my mag light out and tell him just to wait there and I'll be right back. I'm just a few yards off the road and there's this patch of clover.... anyway, I'd shut my mag light off and set it down while I was...well, it had dropped down underneath all that clover, and I wasn't about to stick my hand down there to fish around for it. I'm muttering all sorts of stuff. I pick my way back to the truck and get my extra mag light.

So we hunt, and about 4 o'clock that afternoon, we pick Mark up, we're heading back down the road and I tell Ralph to stop where he let me out that morning, I want to look for my mag light now that it's daylight and I can see. I go to explain to Mark why my mag light is there and he goes, "I know, I heard everything - I was already crapping about 6 feet away from you on the other side of the fence at the same time. I couldn't make it back to the gas line".

I died 19 thousand deaths.

[wabbit wunner01]

My first time bowhunting back in 85, I was 15 and ready. Dad and I just bought 2 new top of the line self climbers. We had permission to deer hunt at the local beagle club, so we go out in the dark to the trees we had marked earlier. We had tested one of the stands, but never tried the 2nd one. I set the stand up and started climbing the tree I get about 15 foot up and decide to stay right there. Dad is below tying the rope to my bow and backpack so I can pull them up. Just as I undo my climbing rope and start to tighten my safety harnes I hear this POWWW and at the same instant the world drops out from under me. I turn to grab the tree and start hugging, I guess for a moment I was a true tree hugger, while I am hugging the tree I sliding straight down. Its October here in IN. and I am only wearing a camo t-shirt, so I hit bottom and the stand acts as a diving board and shoots me 10-12 feet from the tree, flat on my back. Here I lay, the wind knocked out of me, my chest and stomach ate up from the the tree bark, oh I didn't mention I was a good sized kid, 5'9", 200lbs, a wrestler and football player, so I hit like a boulder. Dad is standing there with his eyes bugging out and asking if I'm allright, when I say yes, I was too "tough" to say otherwise, he starts rolling with laughter. We found out later the lock pin was bad in the stand and that was the POWWW sound I heard. The company replaced the stand, but I sold it and haven't used one to this day.

[Rabbit Huntin Fool]

We are a sad bunch aren't we? LOL I am going to fall in and spill mine... Two years ago I was going opening day by myself with 2 females I bought that summer...It was hot but I was there to get some bunnies over these females I been running all summer...Well I get to the woods and notice I dropped my cell phone somewhere ( I was on-call at work so I had to have it ) so I leash the dogs and look around cant find it and I drive 35 minutes to a payphone to call my number and drive back to the woods to listen for it and finally find it...Now I go back to the truck and get the dogs who I tied out so they could stretch out only to discover I lost my keys while looking for my phone.. At this point I really am asking what I did in life to desreve this.LOL OK now I decide to hunt the area I lost my keys and look while the dogs hunt (of course I don't find them ) and they jump a rabbit so I get ready and when I get my shot BOOM! I see the rabbit going ( usual miss ) and look over and the bluetick gyp I bought is running the other way!!! GUNSHY!!!! She was 3 years old when I got her and watched her run the day I got her and she had perfect looks,mouth,and incredible hunt...Now I am speechless...I finally caught the gyp and headed for the truck. While I was making a phone call to my wife to come bring my keys my dogs found a Human Excrement Pile and dceide to roll all over in it.. After they decide on their smell was good enough they come over to me and I noticed they look a diferent color but I pet them up anyway to calm my nerves and them it hit me!!! THE SMELL OF HUMAN WASTE and I have it all over my hands,legs...I have nothing to clean up with so I am sitting there half gagging half crying mostly saying everything I ever learned I wasn't supposed to say..My wife shows up and she is cracking up hysterically as she throws the spare keys at me so I don't get too close..Now I have to strip down so I can keep my SUV clean as possible..Now I also have to smell the dogs the entire ride home as the porta kennels are inside the rear cab.. My cell phone died before I could temm my wife to bring any cleaning supplies.... THAT WAS MY WORST DAY OUT!!!! My wife would be all to happy to confirm this outing as she tells anyone who will listen whenever I bragg on my hounds....If there is a worse story with someone I would love to come up or down and do some hunting with you because I want to meet someone with worse luck than me.. LMAO Keep Em Runnin Great Post Bev

[Buckeye Bob]

You guys are CRAZY,I thought I had a few but apparently I have to poop in a hood, straddle a hot fence,or smoke some mugsy gold to join this club.

[Bev]

LLLMMAAAAOOOO!!!! Rabbit Huntin' Fool, now that's what I'm talkin' about...those days when you shoulda stayed in bed. The only thing you lacked was a good deer chase in the rain, (and on a sore knee)*wipes tears* Although it's pretty bad when one craps his britches - the day's pretty much over anyway you look at it, but it's even worse in your situation when somebody ELSE crapped your britches...

[yellow mt. kennels]

SHANNON,
I REMEMBER THAT DAY IN KENTUCKY, AND THAT CAST WITH LEROY!!
I HAD A DOG IN THAT CAST WITH LEROY.

JAMES DAVIS
YELLOW MT. KENNELS


TELL RANDY HELLO FOR ME.
HOPE TO SEE YOU BOTH AGAIN.

[swing]

One of my worst ones was this past weekend, Me and the driver of the race car and the race car builder and his boy went to South Dakota pheasant hunting with a race car buddy who lives there in Watertown S.D.
We were hunting on some land where the guy was combining a corn field, so there was a guy on the combine and a guy in a tractor pulling a trailer to load the corn from the combine.
Anyway pheasants were flying everywhere in front of the combine and we were given the ok to shoot them.
The guy on the tractor was setting watching the action ( he is against hunting big time but it wasnt his land so he didnt have a say in the matter )
Well a bird came out flying from my right to left and it was a wide open shot so I take it. The guy on the tractor is setting to my left and when I hit the bird its motion kept carrying it to the tractor he is setting in and slams into the tractor, I look over at my buddy and say I dread going over and getting that bird but I got to go get it.
When I get over there the guy is climbing down off the tractor with my bird in 1 hand and the mirror and mirror bracket off the tractor in the other I didnt know what to say so I said did that bird do that, he said the bird broke the whole F_____ing thing off.
So I said sorry and headed for the truck and needless to say we were ask to leave in short order after that.
Boy did I take a ribbing all the way home, Things like I just took the New world record , yeah Trent heres your bird it has John Deere green on it and all sorts of things.
Wasnt a good day and could have been an awsome day birds were flying everywhere.

[swing]

Heres a bad one.
Me and my brother-in-law were coon hunting and listening to the dogs run a coon, setting there on the ground I look down and seed ticks are all over my arms, it was hot and in the summer and we werent to far from the house, so I tell him I have to go home and get rid of the ticks I am bad alergic to them, he said ok the dogs will be fine till we get back.
So we take off for the truck and while we are driving back to the house I remember some gas in a jug for the lawnmower is setting outside the house.
I tell him about it and the plan is to splash it all over us when we get there to get rid of the ticks.
So I am splashing gas all over my arms and pant legs and I think " The first place those suckers head is for the crotch" So I undue my pants and get a handfull of gas cupped in my hand and splash it on my b_g I am thinking that will take care of them and tell him lets go get the dogs.
I head back up there driveway and a burning sensation sets in like I have never had before in my life, I thot I was dieing and my brother-in-law is haveing the same problem but he had poured some down his crack, I turn that truck around fly down the driveway grab the water hose put it down my pants and turn it on full blast( freezing cold well water )
This isnt helping at all, I run through the house stripping off clothes head for the shower with my brother-in-law headed for the other shower, Im screaming by this time and my wife is screaming whats wrong with you 2 well after a good long cold shower with lots of washing it subsides, minus a few layers of skin down there ( theres not but a layer or 2 there anyways), we all set down and laughed till we cried.
Thats just a few lots more where those came from. LOL

[Chain Gang]

Trent, you been smelling to much alcohol. LOL I wouldn't call that the worst day out. Thats more like who's the most IGNANT. LOL

[Chain Gang]

Us Texans will never tell stories like these about ourselves, but we will throw buddies under the bus, so here goes.

A buddy and myself were planning a deer hunting trip and my bud has just bought his wife a new extended cab Tacoma, which he is dying to take, so he talkes her into it and off we go. First evening hunt and I hear pop boom, about an hour later just at dark I hear, plink plink plink plink. I figure he's shot one and needs help, as the plink plink sounds like a 22. So I head to the truck, but the truck is gone, so I follow the tracks. When I find the truck the headlights are on and a nice 8 point is laying just in front of it with a rope around it's neck, but my buddy is nowhere around. As I walk into the lights by the deer my buddy starts yelling to get back, and at about the same time the deer raises his head up and looks around at me. Well I hot foot it a safe distance away and start a long line of questions, such as how did that rope get around his neck, whats all the 22 shooting about? Well as he steps into the lights I can see that most of the rear of his insulated suit is hanging in tatters. It's all become clear and he's still said nothing. After most of my laughter subsides he begins his story. Once I left the truck to go hunt he realized he had not brought any bullets for his rifle, so he started digging through my backpack and just so happen to find one bullet, which he grabbed and took off to his area. Upon shooting this buck and waiting roughly an hour he went to retreive it. Once found, the rope was placed and a short drag was started, after a fairly one sided fight, it appeared, he retreated to the truck for more weapons. A small 22 pistol and shorts, is all that was found, so he drove the truck right up to the deer and left the lights on so he could see what he was doing. Well after 4 shots to the head he now has a very pissed off shot buck with 4 knots on his head. He now retreats to wait for me. As I'm belly laughing again now, he says he doesn't want to shoot again in his area, so lets just jump on him and hold him down and he'll cut his throat. I agreed to try this but wanted no part of his headgear so I opted for his butt and back legs. As we both pile on the buck he has a burst of energy and jumps up and plows head on into the grill of the NEW truck and leaves us laying on the ground, with the grill firmly attached to his rack but not the truck. Needless to say my 30/06 was fired right away in his area. We now can only drive our own vehicles. LOL

[Chain Gang]

Same buddy, differant hunt, differant fight. Shortly after arriving at my stand for an afternoon hunt I hear alot of banging going on in the direction of my buddies stand, followed by a crashing sound, then silence. After dark we meet back at my truck (LOL) and his face and arms are scratched all up and bleeding. Seems when he entered his stand it was already occupied by a ringtail cat. Man I wish I could of seen it!!!!! He fights said ringtail cat in a 4'X4' box 15' in the air. Finally opening the door to allow said ringtail to escape, only to fall out himself. He hunted from the ground that night. LOL



Same buddy, differant hunt, differant fight. Have you ever watched a buddy chase down and jump on a wounded gobbler and attempt to cut it's throat? This doesn't work either. LOL A knife to the throat of a turkey does not cut through, and a mad gobbler beak can extract alot of skin from one's hand. My wife says I need a new hunting buddy, but he's just to much fun to go with.

[Emery]

Remind me not to hunt with anyone from Tx