The Dog Registry (satire)

[TC]

Ok Folks i might as well get on the Cash train Myself Huh.
Think I might start my own Registry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck Why not everybody else is...
lets see i think i will call it
THE DOG REGISTRY
TDR for short
Got a pug that the neighbors labradoddle got to??
Heck no problem Just send me $25.00 I will register it for ya
you will get a nice parchment Registration Certificate
After the second litter of pups your Bitch dog has I will send ya a real nice parchment all gilded up pedigree...............
as long as you register the liter with TDR for An Additional $50.00
We will start havin SHOWS
And HUNTS Just drag a hotdog acroos the parkin lot and if the Dog Finds it we will give it a FC
heck Wal-mart will let us use thier parkin lot for it
I can get a couple judges outa the local juice joint and get the local kindergarten Class to make up Ribbons We will have a great time!!!!!
best of all is When ya deside to sell the pups All them Yuppies will be Flockin to your Door for your new Designer Dog!!!!!!
BIG$$$$$$

AH Heck looks like they beat me to it!!!!!!
But what the heck Seems there is always room For ONE MORE!!!!!!

DRA
http://www.dogpapers.com/
UABR
http://www.unitedregistry.com/
APRI
http://www.aprpets.org/main/index.php
UKCI
http://www.universalkennel.com/

[oakhill]

ROFLMAO!!!! YOu guys are too funny.

[mooredog]

If my cat finds the hotdog first is she in ? FC Fluffy ! GO GO BABY GO !!

[briarshakersdaddy]

What Do you do if they are like a lot of so called rabbit dogs and can't find the hotdog. Do you scratch them or score them like they do a lot of places.

[TC]

Well i guess that would depend on the judges!!!!!!
(like how much they had to drink and if they remember thier glasses)
I believe they would have to give em a couple chances.
And weather or not you had champed out thier Dog or not!!!!

[Jack]

I like fast hounds. Will your Stud Book allow the hounds to run too much rabbit.

[warddog]

Jack, maybe your dog will be banned for running off if it's running to much rabbit as the quarry is hotdogs in this registry. Now runnin to much hot dog may be another story!

[oakhill]

Now, ya got to consider all of factors in this hunt.

Is the hot dog roasted????

What brand we talking bout here?? oscar mayer?? Fields?? Jimmy Dean??

Has the parking lot just been paved?? Or a new coat of tar put on??

What if someone accidently messes of the line??? Like having to run into Walmart for a jelly donut!!

How often are they gonna get a new hot dog??? You know the smell might wear off after a bit. Might get that tar smell to it .

Are we gonna have two classes of hounds??? 15" and 13"??? Or are we just gonna have 15" hot dogs and 13" hot dogs.

If we have the two classes of hounds what are we gonna use to measure em with?? We gonna go knee high to Killer(who is well over 6 ft) and are we gonna use someone like Samlyn or JC(who has to stand on tip toes to reach 5 ft)???

The winner would not be an FC. Heck, we would have to change it to HDC(hot dog champion)!!! But that wouldn't work cause he would have to be something similiar to FC so folks could say they had an FC hound. FC could stand for Footlong Champion.

And above all else!!! Who is gonna pick the handler of the hot dog??? You know how these buddies can drag fast for some hounds and then real slow for others!!!

I got to think some more on this. I think you have something here, TC!!

[TC]

Oh Boy here we Go Folks havin to complicate Everything
Guess I will have to Have a Board of Directors and a RULES Commitee Those that pay the most get on the board.
Now as Far as the FC.
They gotta Find the Hotdog after the drag!!!!
So lets say 3 min after the drag we turn the dogs loose..............
Oh yeah and the entry Fee is $5.00 per dog and ya caint use yer own hotdog!!!
Oh Boy look out Daddys Gonna be RICH$$$$$$$
um Did I say that outloud
Sally you and Jack are the first two members of the rules Commitee.
just send me yer Bribe Er Payment and i will get yer Certificates to ya.....

[SouthernBeagles]

.......would a sausage be considered "Off game"???? What happens if the dogs trailed a french fry or something other than the advertised game?? Will that dog get DQ"d or is it just a minus??

[oakhill]

NOw let's don't complicate things too much. I think one is enough for the committee, but since JC is your wife she can be on it also. YOu know if you have too many they can't agree and we all know that in the end the winner will be who YOU want it to be. lmao

[TC]

3 off game fer a DQ As long as you pay the entry fee.............
Now afer your DQ you can get reinstated by paying your Entry Fee again and gettin a new number
So bring all yout trash runners i can use the Money!!!!!!!!!!
Now how am I gonna make any money If i only let one member pay to get in Sally

Oh And By the way I have scheduled the FIRST anual meeting to be at the Jan Fun Run SB....
Maybe I can Get Red to Bless the whole thing!!!!!
I was Gonna ask Swamper to be Pres But we all know how he feels about the yankee crowd so I think i would loose to much Refenue by Excluding them........

[oakhill]

If ya want me to pick your winner ya gotta just let me and JC do the picking. You know you want your dog to win for the big prize money. There is a big money pot for the winner also, right??? That way you can get alot of suckers to come run. But, we know who will win, right??

[TC]

NAAA Sally beings that I am The OWNER of the registry I cannot with all ethics Enter my Own hounds......
So i will be sellin em all to JC in her name only......

[Emery]

You can't have the trials near the coasts or major sized lakes, those dern sea gulls will eat the hotdogs before the dogs can get them. Now, it is illegal to shot those blasted birds in most states, so what do you do for predator control?