An Old Farmer's Advice

Everyone can use a little humor. Good-natured jokes and stories can brighten a day and go well with that first cup of coffee. (Let's keep'em clean)

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Emery
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Joined: Sun Jul 28, 2002 1:02 am
Location: Owensville, MO
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An Old Farmer's Advice

Post by Emery »

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong
.and watch out where you're steppin.
Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Be ye kind one unto another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

BBOARDING3
Posts: 240
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:42 pm
Location: Maryland

Post by BBOARDING3 »

HAHA Im going to use one of those lines... if you dont mind.

ole' thicket thrasher
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 8:04 pm

Post by ole' thicket thrasher »

Very good. I'm going to use them all!!!!

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