Funny Stuff

Everyone can use a little humor. Good-natured jokes and stories can brighten a day and go well with that first cup of coffee. (Let's keep'em clean)

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bluegrass
Posts: 3156
Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2003 5:50 pm
Location: Greenville, MI

Funny Stuff

Post by bluegrass »

THIS IS FUNNY STUFF


































A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW
advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and
asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have iou r herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers,
"Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone,
and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix
on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the i mage has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns
to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk
of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man,? "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me
back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,? "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want
to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
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