Class Assignment

[Emery]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment. "Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it."

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket
on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all
the eggs went flying, broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" she said.

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs
one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the
moral to this story is "don't count your chickens before they're
hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah." said the teacher. "Johnny, do you have a
story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. She was a flight
engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail out
over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine
gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break. She landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed
70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she
killed 20 more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed
the last 10 with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your
Daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

He said "Stay the heck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"