Sliding down the banister of life...

[Emery]

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, remember...


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written

an impressive new book. It's called...

'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'



2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink,

and be Mary.



3. The difference between the Pope and

your boss: the Pope only expects you

to kiss his ring.



4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant

flash and it's gone.



5. The only time the world beats a path to

your door is when you're in the bathroom.



6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.

The seat folded up, the drink spilled, and

that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.



7. It used to be only death and taxes

were inevitable. Now, of course, there's

shipping and handling, too.



8. A husband is someone who, after taking

the trash out, gives the impression that

he just cleaned the whole house.



9. My next house will have no kitchen. Just

vending machines and a large trash can.



10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my

mechanic might try to rip me off.

I was relieved when he told me all

I needed was turn signal fluid.'



11. Definition of a teenager?

God's punishment for... enjoying sex.


12. As you slide down the banister of life, may

the splinters never point the wrong way.