Redneck Valentine Love Poem

[Emery]

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky, to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flappin' in the breeze
Softer than Blue's, and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfyin' as okry, jist a-fryin' in the pan
Yo're as fragrant as snuff, right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud
I hold my head high, when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still, them fellers at work, they all want to know
What I did to deserve, such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man
To patch up life's troubles, and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin' overhead
You ain't mean like those far ants, I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth, like a plaid flannel shirt
You spark up my life, more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight, like a padded gun rack
My life is complete, ain't nuthin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a R.C. cold drank
We go together, like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate, for Valentine's Day
They git it at Target, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses, on that special day
From the cooler at Winn-Dixie; "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds, from a flea market booth
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, Honey, these just plain won't do.
'Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you
So ya's knows deep down in yo heart
I love ya babe, heres a fresh fart.