HAIL TO VICTORS

[richard g harker]

>A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a

>Buckeye joke?"
>The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know >something
> I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State Graduate. The guy >sitting
>next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State Graduate. The guy
>right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio State Graduate.
>Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if >I
>m going to have to explain it three times"
>
>
>
>It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be
>dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will
>have to dress themselves!
>
>
>
>Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground?
>All five books in the library were completely destroyed.... the football
>team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of the books
>yet!
>
>
>
>What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
>Ann Arbor: 187 Miles
>
>
>
>What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT? >Drool
>
>
>
>How do you get an Ohio Graduate off your front porch? Pay him for the >pizza
>
>
>
>Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a
>Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to
>be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
>argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to
>argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off >the
>mountainside shouting, "This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be
>outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming,
>This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over
>and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State grad
>off the mountain.
>
>
>
>What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? "Welcome to McDonalds. May >I
>take your order please?"
>
>
>
>A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The
>manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
>smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the >store
>" "But, I'm a OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even
>played football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the
>manager. "Here, give me
>the broom, I better show you how."
>
>
>
>Two Ohio State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying >on
>campus when a bartender asked them why
>they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just
>finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!"
>exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4
>- 6 years!"
>
>
>
>A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback
>riding accident. He fell from the horse and was
>nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an
>unplugged the horse just in time.
>
>
>
>A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they
>came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate and a good >man."
>The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in
>there?"
>
>
>
>Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about
>the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.
>As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer
>inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the
>genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said
>the genie. Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built >around
>the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganians can ever
>get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it >to
>be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie
>grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new >paradise
> The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it >up
>with water."
>
>
>
>Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games? Because the
>senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
>
>What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football player's life? >His
>freshman year.
>
>
>
>
> GO BLUE!!!!!
>
>


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>A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a

>Buckeye joke?"
>The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know >something
> I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State Graduate. The guy >sitting
>next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State Graduate. The guy
>right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio State Graduate.
>Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if >I
>m going to have to explain it three times"
>
>
>
>It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will only be
>dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players will
>have to dress themselves!
>
>
>
>Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to the ground?
>All five books in the library were completely destroyed.... the football
>team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of the books
>yet!
>
>
>
>What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
>Ann Arbor: 187 Miles
>
>
>
>What does the average Ohio State University student get on his SAT? >Drool
>
>
>
>How do you get an Ohio Graduate off your front porch? Pay him for the >pizza
>
>
>
>Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU grad, a
>Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to
>be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
>argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to
>argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off >the
>mountainside shouting, "This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be
>outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming,
>This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over
>and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State grad
>off the mountain.
>
>
>
>What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? "Welcome to McDonalds. May >I
>take your order please?"
>
>
>
>A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The
>manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
>smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the >store
>" "But, I'm a OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even
>played football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the
>manager. "Here, give me
>the broom, I better show you how."
>
>
>
>Two Ohio State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying >on
>campus when a bartender asked them why
>they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just
>finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!"
>exclaimed the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4
>- 6 years!"
>
>
>
>A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback
>riding accident. He fell from the horse and was
>nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an
>unplugged the horse just in time.
>
>
>
>A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio cemetery when they
>came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate and a good >man."
>The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in
>there?"
>
>
>
>Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about
>the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.
>As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer
>inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the
>genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said
>the genie. Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built >around
>the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid Michiganians can ever
>get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high and I want it >to
>be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie
>grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly whisked away to his new >paradise
> The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it >up
>with water."
>
>
>
>Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games? Because the
>senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
>
>What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football player's life? >His
>freshman year.
>
>
>
>
> GO BLUE!!!!!
>
>