wife came home early

[richard g harker]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
> love
> to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset -- 'You are a
> disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful
> wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce
> straight away!'
> And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can
> tell
> you what happened.'
> 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll
> ever
> say to me!!
>
> And the husband began --
>
> 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here
> asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I
> took
> pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was thin,
> poorly
> dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days
> !
> So, i n my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I
> made
> for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid
> you'll
> put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed
> a
> good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I
> noticed
> her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as
> she
> needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a
> few
> years, But don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her
> the
> underwear that was your Anniversary present, which you don't use because
> I
> don't have good taste. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave
> you
> for Christmas - the one that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I
> a lso
> donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don't
> use
> because someone at work has a pair the same.'
>
> The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for
> my
> understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me
> with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, do you have anything else that
> your wife doesn't use?'