The Laws of Life:

[Emery]

> Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become
> coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or
> you'll have to pee.
>
> Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will
> roll to the least accessible corner, even if it is
> square.
>
> Law of Visual Probability: The probability of
> being watched is directly proportional to the
> stupidity of your act.
>
> Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number,
> you never get a busy signal.
>
> Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were
> late for work because you had a flat tire, the very
> next morning you will have a flat tire.
>
> Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the
> one you were in will start to move faster than the
> one you are in now.
>
> Law of the Bath : When the body is fully immersed
>
> Law of Close Encounters: The probability of
> meeting someone you know increases when you are with
> someone you don't want to be seen with.
>
> Law of the Result: When you try to prove to
> someone that a machine won't work, it will.
>
> Law of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is
> inversely proportional to the reach.
>
> Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose
> seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
>
> Law of Coffee Temperature: As soon as you sit down
> to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
> something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>
> Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two
> people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
> lockers.
>
> Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced
> jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering
> are directly correlated to the cost of the carpet.
> Law of Location: No matter where you go,! there
> you are.
>
> Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if
> you don't know what you are talking about.
>
> Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
>
> Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
> Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that
> you really like, they will stop making it.

[coolbrze]

haha, ain't that the truth! I like this one:

Law of Visual Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.