Funny Religious Humor (Just in fun guys, no offense intended

[bluegrass]

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.
>
>Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I
>have sinned."
>
>The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
>
>The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate
>love to me seven times."
>
>The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven
>lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
>
>The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
>
>The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."

Another one....

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog
>for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish
>priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a
>mass for the poor creature?"
>
>Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services
>for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the
>lane, and there's no telling what they believe. Maybe they'll do
>something for the creature."
>
>Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya 'think $5,000 is
>enough to donate to them for the service?"
>
>Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't
>ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

One more???
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
>conversation ensues:
>
>Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years,
>many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
& great great grandchildren




>Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a
>motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."
>
>Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
>
>Man: "What sins?"
>
>Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
>
>Man: "I'm Jewish."
>
>Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
>
>Man: "What, are you kidding me?? I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling
>everybody