The South

[Chain Gang]

Tennessee
>
> The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so
he
> decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called
her
into
> his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee
and I
> need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would
you
> take off?"
> The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
> earrings."
>
> Alabama
> A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for
the
> day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
the
> weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
> "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail,"
> the successful hunter replied.
> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
> "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal
> Henry!"
>
> Louisiana
>
> A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world
comes,
I
> hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be
in
> Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than
in
the
> rest of the civilized world.
>
> Mississippi
>
> The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said
to his
> buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking
lot!"
> Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license
number."
>
> Georgia
>
> A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper
asked,
> "Got any I. D. ?"
> The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
>
> North Carolina
>
> A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the
road,
> and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one
behind
> it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene
as
he
> drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.
> He asked the fellow what the problem was.
> The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares
in the
> front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me
neither."
>
> And this from South Carolina
>
> "You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard
of
> anyone retiring to the North!
>