GOLF?

[richard g harker]

THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HEAD DOWN - PLAY GOLF AND PRAY
- Lee Trevino
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A LITTLE GIRL WAS AT HER FIRST GOLF LESSON WHEN SHE ASKED AN INTERESTING QUESTION: "IS THE WORD SPELLED P-U-T OR P-U-T-T?" SHE ASKED THE INSTRUCTOR. 'P-U-T-T IS CORRECT,' HE REPLIED. 'PUT MEANS TO PLACE A THING WHERE YOU WANT IT. PUTT MEANS MERELY A VAIN ATTEMPT TO DO THE SAME THING..'

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ART SAID HE WANTED TO GET MORE DISTANCE. I TOLD HIM TO HIT IT AND RUN BACKWARD.
- Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum
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THE ONLY THING IN MY BAG THAT WORKS IS THE BUG SPRAY.
- Bruce Lansky
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GOLF IS A GAME IN WHICH THE SLOWEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU, AND THE FASTEST ARE THOSE BEHIND.

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I'VE HAD A GOOD DAY WHEN I DON'T FALL OUT OF THE CART.
- Buddy Hackett
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RELAX? HOW CAN ANYBODY RELAX AND PLAY GOLF? YOU HAVE TO GRIP THE CLUB, DON'T YOU?

- Ben Hogan
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MY BODY IS HERE, BUT MY MIND HAS ALREADY TEED OFF.
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I FOUND OUT THAT ALL THE IMPORTANT LESSONS OF LIFE ARE CONTAINED IN THE THREE* RULES FOR ACHIEVING A PERFECT GOLF SWING:
1. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.
2. FOLLOW THROUGH.
3. BE BORN WITH MONEY
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YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY IN THIS GAME. JUST ASK MY EX WIVES. BOTH OF THEM ARE SO RICH THAT NEITHER OF THEIR HUSBANDS WORK.